Jennifer LeClaire: The Imposter Syndrome

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The Imposter Syndrome
Jennifer LeClaire
Devotional


“So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will…” (Hebrews 10:35-36).

I was preaching at a conference on the topic of Jezebel. Although the congregation was saying hearty “amens” throughout the message, I could feel the strong resistance. That didn’t surprise me because I know Jezebel doesn’t like to be exposed. So I preached on.

After the message a man came up to the altar and started verbally attacking me, calling me a false prophet in front of the whole church. He was accusing me of misquoting Scripture. I stood my ground and suggested he needed to open his Bible and read the passage. He came back later and repented privately, but that was after making a very public scene.

Even though I knew I was right, I struggled the rest of the night with vain imaginations. That “false prophet” accusation brought on what is called the imposter syndrome. Every self-aware, reflective prophet will be plagued with this phenomenon at some point in their ministry. It’s not a matter of if, but when. Imposter syndrome is essentially feeling like a fraud. The voice of imposter syndrome makes you question your calling and abilities.

I started wondering back to my original commissioning. Did they lay hands on me and anoint me just because of what I could do for their church or because I’m really a prophet? Am I really hearing from the Lord or am I making this stuff up? I struggled with this until morning, then I spoke with an apostle and told him what happened.

What he shared with me set me free. He told me the pastor’s wife was operating in a Jezebel spirit and hated the message. She inspired one of her eunuchs to come up and attack me publicly to discredit the message and cause me to second-guess myself. Although he repented privately, the public damage was done.

At the same time, the witchcraft coming against my mind was so fierce that I started questioning myself even though I knew it was ridiculous. I broke through the imposter syndrome by breaking the silence on the voices that were coming against me. I separated my thoughts and feelings from the truth. And the voice crying “phony” finally shut up. When imposter syndrome attacks you, expose it.

— Prayer —

Father, in the name of Jesus, help me root my identity deeply in You. Help me to make my calling and election sure by standing firm against the vain imaginations that would have me believe You did not choose me as Your mouthpiece. I bind the voice of Jezebel!